NaNoWriMo Log 2
Day two…
Busted out another 6,531 words. Seriously, though, I’ve been known to write upwards of 6K words in an average blog post, so I wonder if I’m slacking off… especially knowing that today is the end of my weekend, and I will be working 40 hours a week on top of trying to bust out 100K in 30 days. At least I don’t need to sleep all that much.
Well, I’m 10K+ into my novel, and going strong. That’s a tenth of the way there! Woohoo!
NaNoWriMo Log 1
Day one.
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve joined NaNoWriMo in hopes of writing a complete novel in 30 days. The goal: to complete a 50,000 word novel in the time spanning between Nov. 1st and 30th. But I write so much in one sitting, I decided that I will go for 100,000. If anything, that goal will at least ensure my beating the website’s 50K mark.
So anyway, I knocked out a solid 3,863 for day one. I’ll up my word count on some days, skip others, too–but I’m confident things will go smoothly, as I had the good fortune of outlining a 24 chapter novel BEFORE signing up for the challenge.
Anyway, I figured I’d just keep track of my word count here for fun. I’ll try to do it daily. Ciao!
Amended ex post facto: I should say, the lovely lady who introduced me to NaNoWriMo is none other than the sharp witted Andii, former roommate, best bosom bud, and pal. You can read or just visit her grossly under updated blog here: Circumlocutionary. If you are anything like me, you will pester her about updating!
Pre-Teaching Tantrum
So it’s no secret that our progressively failing economy is contributing to an exponential growth in the poverty class. So far the greatest common concerns have been centered on the 9.8% unemployment rate, and how this percentage is the highest Americans have suffered in 26 years. Though that is a depressing fact facing America today, there’s another concern I face daily, that I believe relates to the failing economy. I’m actually concerned about the scrutiny of an internet-based education system that goes beyond the classroom—as there are many assumptions that promoting online learning tools is detrimental to students without Internet access at home. That, to me, is infuriating. I think that by mandating even the slightest amount of online activity outside the classroom for all students, regardless of economic standing can, at best, better our economic situation, or at worst, prepare students for life in this failing economy.
Alright, before you tell me that my concern is baseless, or that I can’t connect an increase in our economy’s stability to assigned out-of-class internet usage, or that my concern isn’t even worth being concerned about, allow me to defend myself.
Right now, one frustrating rule for me as a teacher is that I am required to provide a hardcopy for any and all information related to my class to my students, under the assumption that students without a computer or internet access at home will feel emotional friction (contributing to feelings of inadequacy) because they do not share the same privileges as other students who do have such access. Now, that friction may be present, but I believe there is a better way to tackle such a concern.
Don’t be mad at me for anything yet, because I’m also acknowledging that the argument against my complaint is a very real and a respectable one. In fact, the most frightening aspect for me is to receive a call at dinnertime from an angry parent. But my fantasy-fear is more along the lines of an angry parent who accuses me for his or her child’s poor grade. Do you wonder how this could happen? Well, imagine this possible scenario: There’s a calendar on my classroom blog and forum, for students to access, where they can see exactly when all assignment due dates, quizzes, and tests are. So lets say the night after I’ve handed back tests, Little Billy is asked at home why he failed his test, and his answer was, I didn’t know we were having a test. The teacher posts all the dates online, and I hadn’t been able to get to a computer to see the schedule. So now Little Billy’s parents are embarrassed that their inability to provide their son with Internet access is reflecting in his grades, and are taking out their frustration on the teacher (yes this does happen) and I’m afraid of a parent accusing me of putting his family on the spot by making my students rely on the Internet to succeed in the classroom (which isn’t true, but they don’t always see it that way before they’ve made a complaint.) There is also the risk of word getting around to other parents at the soccer games or what have you, resulting in many parents being angry that I am not understanding of the less fortunate’s lifestyle. Basically, because of the very existence of my online calendar, I’m at risk for offending people without Internet access.
It hasn’t happened to me like that just yet, but it has happened to other teachers. Which is why new teachers today are taught to play down the importance of technology in the classroom—so as not to offend or humiliate students and their parents. But in today’s technological world, is that really a good idea?
And the more frustrating part is, I will always have the due dates listed on the board in the classroom well in advance, and tell the students that they are responsible for writing them down and keeping track of them. And I’m no stranger to the teenage logic. I know how easy it is for my students to have selective understanding, and choose what they focus on. I’m not going to lie, even when I was in high school it was way easier for me to ignore my own responsibilities, and blame my teacher’s classroom management for my failings, so I know that there will always be “Little Billys” that put teachers at risk for being blamed for (essentially) the students’ poor grades once in a while. I will in one way or another receive accusations of favoring the more privileged students, because there will always be those who strongly encourage me to spoon-feed much of my classroom information to my students while I hold firm to the idea that every student will only work as hard as they choose to, no matter how I design my class. (And for the record, I like to have everything posted online for when students decide they do want to take responsibility after they lost their hardcopy instructions in their backpack vortex. That way they can hop online at any Internet hub and access everything they need, regardless of where they misplaced my course syllabus.)
And since I’m on the subject, it saddens me that when I expect my students to be responsible, parents do not always respect that decision. Which is not to say “all parents” are that way. I do know that many parents would love for teachers to be more aggressive in preparing their kids to take affirmative action in their own education and time management. If I were the mother of a high school student, I’d hope that every mentor, teacher and role model to my child have a Yoda-esque impact on his or her life: a do-or-do-not-there-is-no-try appeal.
But for those few who still believe that handholding students to better grades (and killing trees) is the best way to prepare their kids to pass a class—which shouldn’t be the goal—but hey, different strokes for different folks, then I have a news flash for those people: I think that regardless of your lack of computer and Internet access, your child should be challenged to manage their time wisely by making use of the Internet access provided at their school, thus being able to participate in my classroom’s net-based activities and utilize my online organization tools—all of which are designed to improve the quality of learning, rather than be used as structural support for the lesson. And furthermore, I think parents should let me do my job—which is not only to teach my students English, but make sure that when they leave my classroom, they can take what they’ve learned and apply it to many of the obstacles and challenges they will face in the real world. I know English is not always the most practically applicable class for the majority of students once the diploma is in hand, but that doesn’t mean I can just sit by and let my class have little-to-no impact in the lives of my students’ futures, and that’s a fact.
And before I hear any whining about how unfair I am to force the less fortunate children to make extra effort to enjoy they same level of education as students with Internet access at home, why don’t you answer me this question: What’s going to happen after those students without Internet access graduate from high school and get out in the real world? How will they search for jobs? How will they best prepare their resumes? How will they send prospective employers those resumes? Sure, they can fax or mail everything in, but isn’t it true that people with the Internet at home are going to get their resumes and letters of intent emailed sooner? Don’t you think those who have internet at their fingertips will mass email their resumes to multiple companies, covering a greater amount of job territory, and thus diminishing equal opportunities for those being held subject to the tyranny of the pony express? Does that seem fair? Fair isn’t even an aspect of job hunting once these young people are out of school (and spare me the equal opportunity speech.) Fair flat out ceases to exist. It mutates into the dreaded reality—an ominous real world, which teachers like me are trying to prepare their students for.
That being said, when my students are out of school, if they still don’t have internet at home, they will at least have the experience managing their time and readily available tools to find access to the technology that will ultimately help them find work after graduation, and more importantly, survive the times when the unemployment rate reaches 9.8% (or higher, as I’m sure we’re headed presently.) But the point is: my students will know what it’s like to work hard to make up for any technological handicap in the job-seeking community or in college—when taking responsibility takes on a whole new flavor. They will also have enough experience to know how to appropriately communicate online, for they will have used critical thinking, and data-based support to engage in online discussions with their peers about various topics.
And how do I accomplish this? Simple. My lesson plans are designed to provide students with a diverse variety of literary and informational texts—which I will use to coach them in writing with a clear and narrow idea and to focus and utilize coherent collected data. My goal as a teacher is to guide them in researching a range of pertinent sources and to assess, produce, and present those ideas in a variety of venues ranging from formal papers to class presentations. But more than that, I aim to teach them how to develop confidence and have an understanding of oral and written conventions through engaging activities that build on prior knowledge and skills in order to strengthen their ability to read, write, and utilize oral language. These skills would also help them kick ass in job interviews, if you’ll pardon my expression.
But back to my goals, I aim to incorporate journaling and blogging on my online forum, specifically to improve my students’ online “bedside manner,” or a net-based je ne sais quoi, if you will. And this instructional “tool” allows them to have the illusion of anonymity—which for teens in the moral stage of development is conducive to employing confidence in classroom-like discussion, without having to worry about the opinions of their peers. Their claims on the classroom forum can be asserted as firmly, or as subtly as they like, and the best part is, they don’t have to participate if they choose not to (though I do award fractional amounts of extra credit per response to their peers’ posts on the forum to be applied to their worst test scores—and this is only to promote participation.)
Now, going back to the topic at hand: have I effectively made a case that a failing economy is contributing to a sour outlook on an internet-based educational system? It almost seems like the two sides feed off each other in my explanation, so maybe I haven’t; but what I’m sure of, apart from weather my initial point was made, is that perhaps we can turn this situation around. By encouraging greater emphasis on technology in and out of the classroom, and requiring all students no matter what subject is being taught and regardless of the students’ economic standing, the use of technology, even if it means making some students work a little harder (shocking! I know!) can make an active effort to combat the state of the economy, by giving the future of our country the tools to change, challenge, or merely survive the unemployment rate, and thus, better the economy—because it’s no secret that the more employed people making money there are, the better the economy will become.
Yes, I realize that this is not a be-all to end-all economic crisis contingency plan. But how else can a teacher join the fight to better the economy than to either teach economics or just better prepare their students (including the ones suffering the most from a failing economy) how to survive these times. And it’s hard to argue that the more online practice a student has, the more proficient that student will be using technology on a whole—which can only help a person in the job market.
And if you still think that it’s unfair to put so much emphasis on out-side-of-classroom internet activities, then, fine. You win. It is unfair. But let’s face it, I’m a realist with high expectations, and refuse to let anyone tell me that I’m the reason their child is sliding behind. I give my students all the tools they need to succeed. In class and out of class. And I even teach them how to use those tools, and how to better their own position. After that, my concern is focused on encouraging my students to take ownership of their own success. With that in mind, what does it matter if I expect all my students to at least try to apply themselves on a classroom forum. And seriously, the activity itself is actually motivational, resulting in my students wanting to get online. And since that is a fact, I try not to let nay-sayers get me down when they order me not to build my lessons around technology so much.
The Symbiotic Age Organisms and Their Hosts
No time to apologize for my absence. I’ve a matter of inconsequential importance to discuss. It would appear that Age is not only stalking me, but using me. Oh, I know; it’s deplorable. I’m offended that this is even worth blogging about. I’m twenty-five—ish. That’s a quarter the age of my great grandmother, who is a century. A quarter!
In monetary value, that’s a mere sofa cushion away from death! And I’m too young to get old or be the pawn of Time! But alas, that dastardly malfunction in youth is creeping up on me. Point in case—tonight I brought up the IOWA BASICS in my pedagogy class, and my teacher commented on the “archaic” concept the tests were founded on, and how standardized testing has come a long (emphasis on the “loooooong”) way since those “many” decades ago that the IOWA BASICS were used. Decades? The crippling test anxiety spawned of the IB’s still haunts me and feels like it happened only yesterday. But no (emphasis on the “noooooo!”) My “yesterday” is only accessible through academic archeology digs. Silly me, for not being young enough to be unfamiliar with the IOWA BASICS. Like many of my classmates seemed to be. Lucky them.
So of course, this little revelation did not come alone. Like Misery, Age too loves company; (it’s why old people play cards on Thursdays and discuss denture paste and hip replacements. None of that is fun or particularly scintillating, but the company is more or less pleasant.) Next point in case—my best friend from high school texted my cell phone after class because Utada Hikaru (Japanese R&B singer) was on the radio in Bozeman, MT, of all places. This is an amazing step in the global direction for a monochromatic town such as Bozeman. To think there would be any worldly flavor there! True, my best friend and I had wanted this day to come since we were chit’lans in high school… but it wasn’t until she asked me how “long” we’d waited for something like that to happen that the truth finally started to sink in.
Ten years! A whole bloody decade!
I was honest, and tried to be calm. I answered her, “all four years of high school, and the six—going on seven—years since.”
And of course, her encouraging response was, “wow, that makes me feel old!”
Without even thinking, I replied, “well, I do have that effect on people. The longer you know me, the older you get.” It was then I realized how true the statement was. So true, in fact, that I have discovered a biological anomaly within time and space—that Age is an entity. It has taken on some metaphysical symbiotic properties and is using me as its host to wreak havoc and liver spots on my loved ones!
The more I thought on the concept, the more I realized how true it was. I mean, even my dad for years has complained about me giving him gray hair, but I hadn’t realized that it wasn’t a crude metaphor, but a fact-based accusation. As the host for Age, I am to blame for his gray hair. And most likely his memory loss.
What I’m saying is: whatever causes aging in human beings is directly the fault of the Age symbiote’s host. And one of those Age symbiotes is using me! I cause people to get old. Don’t try to argue with me, I have proof! Every single person I meet who sticks around and talks to me gets older by the minute! Only people whom I don’t interact with on a daily basis seem to avoid aging. I mean, just the other day I ran into an old acquaintance who I distinctly recall commenting “hadn’t changed a bit since last I saw” him. True story. Yet I watch as everyone I keep near and dear, either physically or emotionally, wither before my eyes. And I know it’s because Age has cursed me with its leeching, parasitic ways!
I don’t know when it happened, but I know I’ll be avoiding sofa cushions for a while—if only to escape the loose change. At least until I can figure out how to keep from getting old, and preserving the youthful glow of my friends and family. I know I’m not smart enough (or understand enough chemistry) to create an anti-aging serum. But perhaps my discovering of the symbiotic Age organism (I’ll call it SAO from now on) will inspire some chemists out there to develop some kind of Bleach or Oust or Frontline for this parasitic SAO!
Just had to get that off my chest. Sorry to make y’all old.
Jenai’s Chronicles of Balancing Capitol Building and Job Exploration
(The Sequel to Jenai’s Chronicles of Online Dating)
Well, since I’ve decided to put my online dating on hold for an unforeseeable amount of time while I try to procure a job which will entitle me to capitol beyond my capacity to earn thus far—I’ve decided to make a new chronicle series on my blog to keep me writing. (FYI, that doesn’t mean I’ll be on the ball, since I’m not sure if I’m coming or going these days…)
Okay, let’s get on with it!
So right. Basics, starting with basics! I’m enrolled in a pedagogy and professional responsibilities class for my teacher certification program that I’m betting is going to be a big-time repeat of everything I learned in my international teacher training program for TESOL, plus all the weird rules and laws the great country of Texas (ahem, excuse me, I meant “state”) might find necessary for pedagogical students to commit to memory.
Also, the class is a condensed version of it’s normal “semester” sister, meaning it’s twice as short, twice as crammed, and three times more stressful to balance with a job—especially a job that requires me to leave an hour and a half early to make it to work on time. Top that off with a work schedule that doesn’t allow for extra curricular (see homework) activities, and we have a winning combination.
Let me jot it all out to illustrate better what I mean.
NOTE: The early half of the day for the next few months is ALWAYS dedicated to one of these tasks, depending on the specific date: online test/quiz, teacher meeting, teaching job fair, job hunting, or program meeting.
Monday: CLASS DAY 6:30-9:30pm
Tuesday: WORK DAY 2:30-12:30am
Wednesday: CLASS DAY 6:30-9:30pm
Thursday: WORK DAY 2:30-12:30am
Friday: GAWD WILLING I GET THIS DAY FREE.
Saturday: WORK DAY 9:30am-6:30pm
Sunday: WORK DAY 9:30am-12:30am (double shift day)
I only pray I am left time to actually do the few hours of homework required for each class (that’s about 4-6 hours of computer based learning per week that I have to fit in with all my extra curricular activities and part time job)… and that doesn’t even cover everything. I don’t make enough money working at my job in Kemah, and so I’m running low on fuel! I have no idea how I can afford to drive myself to work and still manage to make it to my school, which is a good 40 minute drive from where I live, too.
Nothing is near by, and I’m wondering if maybe I should give my two weeks notice and go back to working in a private club, and make 500 dollar in tips per night… if I did that, I could dedicate the whole week to school and getting my teaching contract through an Harris County independent school district, and work Friday and Saturday nights, making the big tips, pulling out close to a grand a week by looking cute and serving liquor to guys who are wealthier beyond comprehension, and probably married while they enjoy the scenery and music… I know after my jobs in Japan I said I’d avoid that kind of work, being burned out and all… but I’m very sick of being broke and still having to borrow money to pay for stupid fees to take a million tests to get a sheet of paper that says I’m qualified to do something I’m already qualified to do in Japan or Taiwan… oh the humanity…
Wow, that was a bigass runon sentence, wasn’t it?
And does anyone else see the wrongness of me working in a private club (probably a titty bar) in order to make money so I can go to school to be a high school English teacher? Here’s the real kicker: If I made an average of $500 a night like my cousin does at the bar she works at, and worked four nights a week, I’d make an yearly tip income of 96K, assuming I don’t claim any of the tips… my teaching salary would only be 44K a year, minus taxes, and I would be working 5 days week.
Oddly enough, I’d rather be a teacher, making less and paying taxes, even though I could just as easily work in a bar for the rest of my life.
Here’s where I do the long-term responsible thing:
Cons of Club Work: no benefits, shitty hours, rude clients, I’ll eventually get old and my cuteness won’t earn me extra tips anymore, no retirement plan, possibly caught for tax evasion if I don’t claim my tips, and I wouldn’t… me+lots of alcohol=bad news, etc etc. Oh, and since I’m on the paranoid path: hepatitis. LOL
Cons of Teaching: could end up working for a title one school, and get shot by a student who thinks I failed him/her because of an imaginary vendetta.
Just for fun, the pros of Teaching: benefits, retirement, sense of purpose, summers off to work on my novels, can afford to legally buy a house and car without worrying if the IRS is hiding in my front bushes… Obama said teachers are cool. Okay, that last part is not a pro, and is almost a lie, since I never heard Obama say teachers are cool. But I have the feeling he would say it, if asked. 
Okay, I kind of lost track of what I was talking about, so I’ll go to sleep now. I have a list as long as my arm of things I need to do for school before I go to work tomorrow, and I really don’t have time to try and do all that on sleep dep. (I really wanted to type way more about my situation and how my first day of class went, but I’m out of time folks.)
Ta!
Just for fun…
I took a personality quiz recently and just wanted to post the results!
Here they are:
Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who’s extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
…I had three people tell me that was all too accurate. I guess I feel good about that. 
He Told Me He Dreamed In Color
He Told Me He Dreamed In Color
but the memories were in grayscale,
and it doesn’t really matter.
I asked to hear a story of his past
long gone, if it weren’t elapsed.
He said,
“I was born in eighty-four,”
and that was that—was the past.
Then the sun drowned in the hills, dead
and floating in the fleshy,
white gold waves.
The last bees drew their evening’s
honey dust
as we lolled in the grains, awake.
It hurts to think his golden past
won’t amount to more than silver.
Every thought,
dream and memory,
for me, is full in water color.
Then a wasp landed
on my lips,
dug his feet into the gloss.
I wondered if there’s such a thing
as wanting what you’ve got.
I let his needles touch me,
wary of the sting.
His orange and blackness will
haunt me.
But he won’t remember a thing.
I suck.
Yeah, I usually post more than this…. as INSANE as this may be, job hunting has actually made me not get around to typing! So what I’m saying is, I’m going to force myself to type more posts… starting by mid February.
Just so my readers know. (all like, ten of you.) *sigh*
Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C0CE5D91138F93BA35751C1A966958260
Here’s an oldie but a goodie on the separation of Abortion the Health issue being looked at apart from the Abortion the Moral issue: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,957302,00.html
And just for fun, here’s one Catholic view of the sin in contraception: http://www.scborromeo.org/glad/c4.htm
My theory is, if they think that contraception is bad, and masturbation (spilling the seed) is just as sinful, then why has no Catholic teaching tried to outlaw menstruation? After all, menstruation is spilling an egg, isn’t it? It’s pretty much the same as spilling seed, right? So why are women allowed to menstruate, but men not allowed to masturbate? Is it because one is generally more pleasurable than the other? I’m betting that’s the only reason. Heaven forbid anyone have pleasure that doesn’t result in creation of some kind. Okay, I hope you enjoyed some of that information I found online. It was some of the data that has brought me to my own current beliefs. It was not taught to me or instilled in me, it was research I acquired for myself. I just wanted to pass it on, so that others may see where I’m coming from.
And on a side note, I hate that anti-abortion and anti-contraception proseletizers want to claim the title “pro-life.” After all, their “pro-life” laws have killed, and many of them would use capitol punishment to enforce their anti-abortion laws. The very term “pro-life” has yet to be earned by anyone who supports capitol punishment or anti-abortion extremists, if you ask me. As far as I can tell, the Pro-Choice men and woman are far more deserving of the phrase Pro-Life than any of their opposition. But hey, I’m open to hear arguments to my latest statements.
Just a quick Pro-Choice opinion.
I’m living across the street from a Planned Parenthood, and this morning there were a couple vehicles with huge signs attached to the backs, sporting large photos of aborted fetuses and the words: ‘ABORTION IS MURDER’ all over them. There are many picketers walking the sidewalks with their anit-abortion signs and slogans, and I wonder: if they are so committed to calling for the illegalization of abortion, then what do they personally think the punishment for illegal abortion violators should be? What would they condemn women who get an abortion with—what punishment?
I just want to walk up to them and ask. But if I did ask, I fear they will fail to give me a straight answer, and just fall back on the age-old argument that abortion is a form of murder. It’s exhausting to make a case against a blind arguer who knows so little about what they demand, that they quit before any real ground is covered. And it’s even more tiresome that these picketers feel that regardless of what the punishment is assigned to violators, the act of abortion should still be illegal, as long as they don’t have to feel like they are the stone throwers. So much for their courageous crusade…
I’ve heard many people argue that since they are not lawyers, they can not answer what punishment would fit such a “crime,” but then again, my own argument is: I’m not lawyer either, but even I can argue for the side of pro-choice without being ashamed of what I believe (like they seem so afraid to hand out punishment.)
To prove my point, here is my argument: First of all, a fetus is not biologically recognized as ‘sapien’ yet, according to its definition. Even at week 20, a fetus is NOT capable of autonomic life. What does this say to me? It says that by anatomical definition, a fetus could be no more classified than as a growth until at least the 26th week from conception, when the lungs can handle air without the aid of a machine or the womb. Conclusively, I assure my audience that a fetus cannot be murdered, and therefore women who have an abortion cannot be accused of such a crime. Without a crime, the act of abortion cannot be illegalized, as the pro-life supporters claim.
Further, because the fetus itself is incapable of living on it’s own apart from it’s parent host (the pregnant mother), I feel it is comparable to when a doctor must sever someone’s arm. An arm or leg cannot live apart from the body, but we don’t accuse an amputee of murder, even though the former appendage had suffered a “death” of sorts after being removed from the body. Personally, I think that until a child is born and capable of autonomic survival outside the womb, it is not a ‘sapien’ life form or a “human being” deserving of more rights than its parent host. The women who are alive and want the right to choose should be allowed such a privilege. After all, she is able to survive as a person– an autonomic and sound life. But that’s just my thoughts on the matter. Maybe I’m wrong.
But if I am, may God strike me down for believing that life is more complicated to achieve than mere conception.
Oh, and in challenge to my Pro-Life readers: If you could answer my question for me noted in bold at the top of this blog post, I’d appreciate it, and even state publically that you deserve a cookie.
