So, my students are rude. And by rude, I mean inexplicably impudent. And I don’t just mean to each other (including their friends/families,) but also to their other teachers, myself included! So I have be forced to lectur my abusive and unruly students for three days straight about the necessity of deference in spite of unrequited respect, and how developing a certain level of maturity would benefit the entire classroom atmosphere. I gave them examples of how… in detail. I forced them out of their comfort zone by demanding they defend their inappropriate behavior. I backed them into corners and instigated classroom debates on the matter. I modeled appropriate behavior and mimicked them for affect. I did so on a level that a four-year-old could comprehend.

And what should I suppose they realized after my grueling reprimands?

Nothing.

They understood the application of deference in spite of unrequited respect less than the layman’s vocabulary I used to explain it! I might have had the same results if I delivered my harangue in Hebrew.

But like most children (luckily!) they forgave me for assuming the roll of ‘mature adult,’ and thus-far like me despite my stringency. Funny how kids can let honest and constructive criticism roll off of them. I know a few adults who could use a lesson in that, but at the moment I’m a touch overburdened by lecturing on (in)appropriate behavior.

Anyway, I’m an English teacher…

…not Gandhi.

amended ex-post-facto: An observation that delightfully surprises… after irritating every class, every day, I’m a bit unsure of how I earned my students’ respect and obedience, when they expressed with certainty that they do not dish it out without first receiving… so who knows what I did to earn that luxury! It’s nice that the little punks are all talk and no action… such a dependable age-group. I now know I can count on them to not be counted on while still benefiting from the whole experience.

I was laid off last year. But I’m not going to talk about that. So skip ahead, so I can focus on my new job. It’s a career in Internet sales that’s unlike anything I’ve ever heard of. I’m getting used to my new job, but there’s much about it that is completely out of my zone of understanding, which is a dangerous position to be in especially in today’s economy. And when I say my job is a “new” job, I mean that in every sense of the word! It’s not just new work, it’s a whole new way to do things and think.

Well, in light of the all-around new employment, I decided it would be a good idea to try a few other new things—I guess for a change of pace. I am still pretty new to the state of Texas, so adding as much “newness” to my life as possible sounded like a good idea to give me a fresh start. I can’t really think of all the “new” other things I tried though, because for some reason I can only focus on the worst choice. And that would be the toothpaste I switched to.

For example, coffee is ruined. So is Chinese food, Tex-Mex, the basic grilled chicken, and even steamed rice seems to taste like (what I image) sulfuric acid and copper to taste like after fermenting for decades in a bottle that used to contain peroxide and bleach. I even considered the possibility of a conspiracy where all of my drinks and food have been seasoned with crushed aspirin tabs. Then I just realized the foul flavors were directly linked to my toothpaste. And don’t even get me started on what chewing gum, orange juice and cigarettes taste like! (For the record: no, I don’t mean what chewing gum, O.J., and cigarettes taste like together; I meant individually.) Even my filtered tap water taste like it Now Come In An Exciting New Vinegar Flavor!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it would be pretty easy to just buy a different one, since I can’t stand the after taste I’m left with. But on the plus side, this particular toothpaste is well suited for my dental needs. And I really don’t want to go through all the stress and anxiety of driving all the way back to the store, re-read all the toothpaste labels, find another fluoride-filled tube that would fit my dental lifestyle, when I can just continue to brush with the evil that is Crest Pro Health Night Care (I think that’s what it’s called). Anyway, the taste isn’t so horrible while I’m brushing. It’s just, whenever I’m not brushing, I can’t seem to enjoy anything, because I have this weird taste in my mouth that for a few weeks I blamed acid reflux (a condition I don’t even have)!

I feel like everything enjoyable about my life that I used to take for granted is suddenly overshadowed with a nasty taste that I can’t get rid of, all because of my apathy when it comes to my dental hygiene.

And I’ve hit another problem. I’m going through too much toothpaste too often. I brush more than usual to clean out the icky taste, which only fuels further bitterness while I’m not physically in the act of brushing (which is still the majority of my day, surprisingly). Even my mouthwash seems ruined now. And yet, I am too accustomed to my routine now to really go out and just get another toothpaste. It’s pretty pathetic.

But enough about my struggle with dental hygiene; I wanted to tell you more about this new job. I’ve stuck with in for the last few months, despite the looming feeling that there’s something wrong with this career’s place in MY life. I mean, I’m pretty laid back and don’t like having to focus on work while I’m not actually there. Especially a job I’m still not completely sure I have a firm handle on.

But on the plus side, this particular job is well suited for my economic needs. But I really don’t want to go through all the stress and anxiety of quitting, just to back track into the job market, read all the help wanted ads, find another opportunity that would fit my lifestyle (one that allows me to student teach during my days), when I can just continue to work with the evil that is my current job. I mean, the actual work isn’t so horrible while I’m at the office. It’s just, whenever I’m not on the clock, I can’t seem to enjoy anything, because I have this weird feeling that something with the job could go wrong at any moment and ruin my life. It’s enough to give me a bad taste in my mouth.

I suddenly feel redundant. Anyway, that’s all I got.

P.S.
Writing this, and titling it in the way I have, made me fondly reminiscent of my writing classes with Aaron, of whom I’ve not spoken to since walking together at graduation. Of everyone I know, only Aaron seems to have, for all practical purposes, this bizarre intrinsic ability to describe and explain all of life’s little pieces almost wholly in puns, double entendre, quips, and quibbles. Here’s to you, Aaron. Where ever you are. (I hear it’s Target…)

It’s 2010. Seven years ago I graduated high school. I remember four years ago thinking “wow, I graduated three years ago! In two years, It will have been five, and five years after that it will have been ten–and ten years is a decade and decades equal THE reunion, and I haven’t done shit yet worth flaunting in anyone’s face! I’m running out of time!”

Yes, that was my train of thought after a brief and largely uneventful three years. Three years after high school felt moments away from a ten year reunion and there I was, panicking because I wouldn’t have my grand, cliche, silver screen moment where I would return to the campus I loathed and impress the hundreds of people I more or less hated with a baseless passion.

I can’t really say I’ve grown from that post teenage idiocy, but I can at least say my college retardation has subsided enough for me to realize that (now) at seven years beyond graduating the pubescent breakdowns, biweekly friendship busts, and art club conspiracies, I have three years left, as apposed to seven, and wish those three years would feel as slow and long as those first three, when I believed high school was “oh so long ago–back when I was a child.”

I’m about (but not quite) the age where I can say logically that high school was a longass time ago, and somehow it doesn’t sound as glamorous as it did four years ago. Or as exciting. And after seven years of pretending to be a self-sustaining adult, I’ve done way more with my life than after those first three years of popular dilusion–but who’s really quantifying that? I certainly can’t because at this point, I wish I had another ten years to make something more of myself.

Anyway, I think my new goal is to try avoiding my impending reunion, rather than prepping myself to saunter in to a gymnasium (as I’m sure my high school isn’t classy enough to reserve a nicer place) with blasting crappy post-nineties pop music, and trying to impress the maybe 15% of people who actually showed up–all there with the exact same agenda as me… to prove something to someone for some reason or other. Who knows what it is for them…

Of course, in three years, I may change my mind again and be all for going. After all, I thought I was vastly more mature after only three years. At seven I think I may have actually transmogrified into a different personal altogether–I even look different! So who knows who I’ll be three years from now?

I could be my mother.

*Do do Do doo Do do Do doo Do do Do doo…bwaaaaahhhhaaaahaaa*

Day 30! Last Day!

And although I didn’t write a Log for yesterday, I officially became a winner on NaNoWriMo’s website at 61,108. Now, i know what you’re thinking… that’s no where NEAR my goal of 100,000 words. But you know what, I don’t care that I didn’t reach that goal, because a lot of things happened during the last half of the month, that really were big enough that I don’t mind falling behind. The important thing is that I did my best and that I not give up, despite the set back.

Anyway, just felt like concluding my NaNo Logs with the announcement that I did win, in an official kind of way.

Yup.

Cheers!

Day 20–I win!

Well, I mean, with 59,893 words, I’ve officially won NaNoWriMo 2009, but what that means for me is that I have to write 4,011 words every day for the next ten days. That should be easy enough, accept I will be soooo busy! XD

Well, wish me luck and broken legs! Or, wait… that doesn’t sound right for some reason.

!!!!

I win.

Day 18!!!!

I really was hoping to have hit 50,000 words by November 15th, but at day 18, I’m still not quite there. Which means, I’m good to go for NaNoWriMo’s goal but I’m behind schedule on my own. Granted, I have gotten busy, and over the next week and a half, I’ll be even MORE busy; I expect to fall behind schedule in a couple days so much that I’m beginning to question my initial goal. Which blows. I’m at 49,787 words. So close to being at the 50K mark, but still no cigar. That’s okay though. I’ll pass that mark by tomorrow. Here’s hoping I can surprise myself. But since the rest of this month is gonna be wicked busy, I’m not gonna beat myself up if I’m short of 100K.

Anyway, wish me luck!

Day 15!

I only have 3,775 words to reach the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words!!!! Which means I’m 53,775 words away from my own goal! BOSS!

Unfortunately, I’m super busy for the last two weeks of this month… Dear gawd help me make my goal!

Day 14!

My count is now: 43,532!

I think that calls for more exclamation!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day Thirteen! (Friday the 13th!)

So, yeah I’m sure you noticed I petered out for a couple days… but I’m back in the game! 39,386! I can still make my goal of 100,000 words by December! WOOHOO!!!!!

*ahem*

Alright, I’m gonna wrap this up before I jinx myself.

Ciao!